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My castles tumbled at mail call today
A summer of fun is on our doorstep! Will you go to a party and get COVID and die? Will you go to a wedding and reduce your grey-matter by as much as 15…
Alberta Advantage
Apr 6
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My castles tumbled at mail call today
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I could float here forever
If you are reading this a stray mortar shell has not blown up a kebab restaurant in east Poland precipitating a Russian ICBM barrage aimed at reducing…
Alberta Advantage
Mar 20
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I could float here forever
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My son, temptation is one thing that I've defeated
Yeah everything sucks in Europe today but did you know we have suck right here at home? Fresh, locally-sourced, street-to-eyeball suck delivered…
Alberta Advantage
Feb 25
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My son, temptation is one thing that I've defeated
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Win win come again, brethren come again
On the plus side, 2022 is going to be a great primer for how climate change response will shake out. What do you say about 2022? It was a horrible year…
Alberta Advantage
Feb 11
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Win win come again, brethren come again
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Quickest wrist of the chaparral and sage
Today we’re apologizing for Edmonton city council. Please send booze and Lysol. We’re fans of the hit reality series Too Hot To Handle. It’s a brilliant…
Alberta Advantage
Jan 27
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Quickest wrist of the chaparral and sage
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She acts just like a nurse
This newsletter will be short because my only COVID symptoms appear to be a thickness of thought, and I’m really sweaty, and I’ve mysteriously gained a…
Alberta Advantage
Jan 14
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She acts just like a nurse
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You ain't so big, you just tall
Place this year gently into the garbage. I Herxed myself today. (Not like yesterday). I took too many anti-inflammatories and then got the flu but the…
Alberta Advantage
Dec 30, 2021
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You ain't so big, you just tall
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Hooky for the Holidays
Why is there no vaccine against toddlers? This is not a newsletter about socialism, or Alberta, or politics. This newsletter is about one guy behind a…
Alberta Advantage
Dec 16, 2021
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Hooky for the Holidays
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As heavy as my bonеs were
Karens get a bad rap. Our Karen, the good Karen, the ur-Karen, the mould from which all good Karens are wrought, made us a sweet merch store. So now you…
Alberta Advantage
Dec 2, 2021
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As heavy as my bonеs were
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Half the valley shakes
I went to Toronto for a bit and wow, I get how that place produced Doug Ford. If I had to drive on the 401 all day I would also sell drugs and start a…
Alberta Advantage
Nov 19, 2021
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Half the valley shakes
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Here's health unto the union, which is very strong they say
I took a bunch of candy from my daughter this Halloween and, I swear to God, she looked at me and said “daddy, what kind of ideology would allow a grown…
Alberta Advantage
Nov 4, 2021
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Here's health unto the union, which is very strong they say
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I hope it stays dark forever, I hope the worst isn't over
Calgary has a new city council! And a new mayor! And some new trustees? And flouride in the water? Edmonton has some of those things? Oh wow okay I…
Alberta Advantage
Oct 22, 2021
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I hope it stays dark forever, I hope the worst isn't over
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